Selfishness

Selfishness lives in all people, no matter how benevolent the person is. Selfishness is something that is usually very blurry to people, as selfishness is what protects us from all the bad things, and as it happens, all the good things too.

Selfishness is usually the root of a defense mechanism, as the entire purpose of such a mechanism is in order to protect the individual with the mechanism, with no concern or regard for anything else. Usually the most obvious selfish behavior is in children, as they simply don’t have any of the social rules that adults do.

When a child starts to realize the concept ‘Mine’ usually it is in the age range of 2-3. After that… EVERYTHING is ‘mine’. ‘Mine’ is the beginning stages of selfishness, as the child will want anything anyone else has as well. I’m sure you parents out there, have had a child at this age range, want everything your holding in your hand, no matter what it is. It could be a sandwich, a glass of water, a piece of silverware, a new paper, a laptop, or your car keys. The kids are simply exploring the concept of ‘Mine’, as they have nothing that isn’t theirs according to them.

When we grow older, that concept is changed, and we learn the concept of sharing, and tolerance, and we also learn that, based upon societal construct and propaganda, the ‘selfless’ are better people. After this, of course everyone wants to be better people, so they begin attempting to explore the concept of selflessness. Usually the exploration of the concept is stopped short by the individual, as the path of selflessness is most certainly not the path of least resistance.

Based upon observation, humans generally begin to believe themselves selfless, while performing selfish acts, and every once in awhile, doing something that seems selfless to them, and the other person receiving the selfless act should feel very blessed to have that person perform such an act of selflessness upon them. To me it looks quite like an oxy-moron, and staunch hypocrisy, however that doesn’t seem to enter into the thoughts of the person committing said actions.

An example of a child’s selfish behavior:

“I want my lollipop. It’s MY lollipop, and you can’t have any! Mine!”

This is a very declarative and direct thought pattern. The thought is literally no different than the words, and the actions follow suit. The difference in adults, is that they also have usually studied the art of deception/lying to some degree.

And example of the thought process of an adults selfish behavior:

Adult 1 says:

“Hey! I heard what you said to Molly yesterday before I came into the kitchen. I was with Jake that day, and he never said that.”

Adult 2 Says:

“What do you mean!?”

Adult 1 says:

“yeah, you said you were there at the house, and that Jake said he wanted a mistress, and was trying to find one… why?”

Adult 2 says:

“You were listening in to my conversation!? I can’t believe you! How rude!”

Adult 1 Says:

“I know you weren’t there, because I never saw you that day, and I was at the house all day. ”

Adult 2 says:

“I don’t know what your talking about, and your offending me. Your just being rude! You were listening in on conversations, being sneaky, and accusing people. I can’t believe you! ”

Adult 1 says:

“Wow, that seems like your fooling yourself with something other than the truth. It sounds like you may be saying parts of something, but I’m not sure what. Have you studied the art of deception/lying?”

Adult 2 says:

“No, I’m not lying, and how dare you call me a liar!”

This is usually summed up by the epic conversation that I sum up as the “how dare you “conversation.

After the thought, there would be a justification, or the need for such a justification. The adult may look for someone else to ‘talk to’, which usually translates into another human being giving them the necessary justification because the individual is at a loss or at bare minimum lacks the strength and purpose of self to do this on their own.

The person then justifies it’s selfish action, and begins to act as if the person asking the question about the study of the art of deception, has then insulted and offended Adult 2, so in order to convey this there is an over-compensating that must occur. Usually this takes the form of an emotionally dramatic exploit of some sort, in the same realm as theatre.

Right about at this point is when things begin to whir out of control, because Adult 2 is more interested in their own dramatic over compensation.

The selfish adult (Adult 2) will usually antagonize the other entity in order to provoke a reaction. This I usually sum up as “drama”, and then begins some fantastic story about the whole experience.

Adult 2, was never interested in listening to Adult 1. Adult 2 simply wanted to be accused of a situation, in order to justify the position of being victimized by “such a rude and insulting person”. The rudeness, and offense, is in the act of speaking about someone else behind their back, and specifically saying things to deceive them. If an individual doesn’t like to be called on such actions, one should not commit such actions… it is as plain as that.

Selfish people only think about them, and what will happen to them, and how the outcome will effect them, and what will be for them, and what happens to them, and how they will feel about the situation or circumstance, but their view is ALWAYS limited to them. They can never see beyond themselves in order to achieve selflessness, though there are also never able to see that they are being selfish and will readily deny it.

In my experience, it is the people who can admit that they are selfish, that are far more selfless.

It is those who can not see it in themselves, because they believe it so sinful or offensive that they should simply be denied awareness of it’s existence in them. It is when that cycle repeats itself for years, and then to multiple generations, that’s when it becomes a sickness.

For every sickness there is a remedy. For every hurt there is a cure. Be accountable for your selfishness, even when you don’t want to.

Accountability

In this I shall attempt to render thoughts on the concept of accountability.

Accountability is something that seems to be less and less visible in the leagues of our society. It could be the way I view things, and I pray that it is just my inaccurate vision however, there is an unyielding proof of a truth that doesn’t care about my prayers, and continues to show me more evidence to the contrary.

(Please note, that ALL examples given here are examples or hypothetical situations, however graphic… they are relevant to the concept. The graphic nature of these elements are to help the reader understand just how drastic someone else's viewpoint can be, as well as what people are capable of justifying, or being accountable for. Whether we believe that all people are good and descent, has no relevance on whether people other than ourselves make the choices not to be either consistently.)

Accountability means: subject to the obligation to report, or to explain something; responsible; answerable.

In my experience many people will read this definition, and walk by the depth to the words. The reporting of a thing, is NOT the same as the justification of a thing. The report is the data, and only the data behind the actions… NOT the feelings. Many people get lost in the emotions of an action, and end up in a place that they must justify, which is why I say that the concept of justification is different than a report. Both justification, and accountability can be amazing things to witness, and can easily leave the observer in awe.

One can walk to a front porch of a house in the suburbs after watching it for a few weeks, ring the doorbell, and grab the child that answers the door to do unto that child whatever that one desires. That action IS justified by that person in their mind as the right thing to do. The thought must pass approval in order for execution of the action. Justification is that person telling themselves that taking that child, is O.K. quietly in their mind, and then using whatever circumstances necessary and repeating that it's O.K. as many times as it takes, in order to believe that the action is necessary. That is what justification is… not the who, when, where, or why… just what.

An example of accountability, is that same person sitting on the bench looking at that house in the weeks before the actual act, having this thought.

“My body is responding to that child, and I know that everyone says it’s wrong and illegal, but it’s irresistible to me.

I have accepted the fact that my body responds this way, and that I may never be able to control this temptation… I will try someday, but that day is not today.”

The accountability is taken for being a pedophile in that thought. The person understands that it’s turned on physically, the person accepts it, and also accepts that it’s against the law. The accountability is the person actually being responsible for being what the person is. It knows it’s a pedophile, and it simply doesn’t care and continues about it’s course to correct at some undefined later date.

The justification will always kick in when a different set of standards are imposed upon that person… in this case, it would be when they are caught by the intricately weaved net of the law. After the imposition of another’s set of standards as well as it’s consequences, the person becomes deceptive, and then a justification is required. The deception begins with denial out of fear for consequences. Then… the deceptions that are told, are woven into a story that is rehearsed which usually shows the person in the best possible light. This being said, the pedophile is often seen as a good person and potentially a victim to themselves and their inhibitions, after the insertion of this justification for being a pedophile.

In this example, the justification is neither accurate, nor evidence of accountability and is intentionally designed to skew the report. All the while… the person doesn’t have to take accountability for any action made. The report of the above example is this:

Begin Report:

This person abducted a child, and forced said child to submit to it in a criminal fashion based on a set law that that person is now being judged by. The person was held accountable by said law, and attempted to deceive others in attempt to gain favor for leniency. This person is not only a pedophile, but also a liar and intelligent enough to maliciously use pity and benevolence to sway them. This person is not to be trusted, and with whatever process that the judging law deems relevant,will be processed.

End report:

The report is usually much shorter, and quite declarative. The point being is that the person in question, is accountable for both the report AND the justification.

What's the reason for that they are responsible even if they don't acknowledge that responsibility?

The event simply would not have occurred if the person would not have committed either the thought energy, or the physical energy to turn the fantasy into a reality.

All people are accountable for every thought they have… because no one else is inside your head.

No one else will hold you accountable for your thoughts… because no one else is inside your head.

All people can choose what they want to do.... because all humans have free-will.

All people are accountable for their actions…. Even the ones that other people don’t see.

No one else can stop you from doing something to cause damage to your fellow man… because you have indefinite control over your entire body, and the whole of your own mind.

Accountability for our own thoughts and actions announces our intention as human beings to others. Malicious or benevolent does not matter, and the reason for that is quite simple. For me… I would rather look at the demon that has burning hands and horns coming from it’s head and red skin and say with blood dripping from it's mouth and say: ‘no thanks… I think your unhealthy for my life.’ Rather than to look at a person that hides that demon behind faces of deceit and unaccountability to look just like you and me but have the same effect. The unfortunate reality, is that in our world the angels and the demons look identical… and we have a choice to become either, both, or none. The designation 'angel' or 'demon' is simply that, but the becoming of any of these things begins with taking accountability for the good actions, as well as the poor ones towards that direction.

In the pursuit of accountability I have learned one indeterminate fact. Those who are truly accountable for all of their deeds, as well as their words, walk the most difficult and painfully growth ridden road out of anyone. They must answer to only themselves and no one else, but be that as truth, themselves never give leave.

Hatred Clarified:

This is a word that is used very commonly in the modern era in phrases such as “I hate that dress” or “I hate the way I was treated” or “I hate that place”.

We are inaccurately using that word, and allowing such a word to become common in our language. So common in fact that we have come to simply overlook the concept, and accept it as a word.

In my belief people use things that they don’t understand because it is common communication, and socially acceptable. I choose to believe that people mean to say “I don’t like the way that dress would look on me”, or “I am not satisfied with the way I was treated” or “I didn’t enjoy that place very much”. Instead we use the word ‘Hate’, and I have become tired of people using this word as if it doesn’t mean anything.

For those who throw around such a concept as if it meant nothing; You must have no understanding of the atrocities such a thing is capable of, so I will explain the concept of hate as I understand and have experienced it.

Hate’s root emotion is fear, and using fear as it’s fuel… can consume an individual. It is what humans use to power their retribution, their reckoning, or vengeance. At any one point these things can become spiritual, which is when hate begins to consume.

Like happiness, hate consumes all things around it, and behaves the exact same as a living entity, though we as humans react differently to this stimulus. Instead of smiling and laughing, we are angry and rageful. If hate is allowed to fully consume, hate is extremely dangerous.

After one has succumb to hatred, humans usually adjust their scope to violence as we are a violent species and in so doing become very dangerous and quite lethal. Hatred naturally increases the need for “justice” as humans are incapable of committing a terrible act, and seeing themselves a terrible person for doing so. The justification must fit in order to perform the terrible action, and so retribution is usually called up in the guise of “justice”.

When Hatred itself consumes, it causes unconscionable events, as the person is victim to their emotions in full regard. Hatred is slow and patient. Hatred is unyielding. Hatred is violent. Hatred is intelligent. Hatred is charismatic. Hatred is coercive. Hatred is methodical, and if utilized properly, is the most damaging weapon we as humans can wield. Hatred is manifested as what most people know as pure evil.

It is the person who is capable of tormenting the spirit and killing of thousands, in order to convince others to torment the spirit, manipulate, and eventually take the lives of millions if not billions.

As so many people say that they ‘Hate’ an individual, I say they are fools. In order to properly hate, one must be active about it. One must first observe, and gather information. Then take the time to strategically strike at their happiness and comfort, pulling their target outside of their comfort zone. If that means paying someone to get into an argument in a public place with a person because that person can not stand being humiliated, or giving that persons dog worms or rabies because it is their most prized possession. One must be able to research the happiness's and fears of their target, in order to apply hate properly. Hate itself doesn’t have a measure of time, and in the beginning, it feels like little cuts. Then it moves into their safe zones. Their house, their work, their day-care facility for their children, their play-groups, their childrens school, their spouses work place and environment. If one is willing to hate, then one must effect the entire bloodline of an individual as far back as can be traced, as well as any contact that was given to an individual by those outside of their bloodline. This means that all family and all friends of an individual, for up to three generations are effected by the hated individual’s mistake. Tormenting and torturing the children, spousal torment and humiliation, the siblings pain and disappearance don’t come until last. They do come, and the individual can be forced to watch by cutting off their eye-lids and tying them down. Then the physical pain begins for the individual, and maybe death. It depends on the resolve of the person hating in order determine that, but it is ultimately within the capacity and power of the hate itself to decide which course of action to take. The one who is hating, has become hate, and no longer has any power. The process in itself can take upwards of ten years, and maybe longer depending on the decisions of the one who is evoking the hate.

Hate doesn’t have a problem creating the most torrid and awful nightmare anyone could possibly imagine. Hate pulls the fingernails off of four year old kids', and cooks infants in vegetable oil for fun.

For the life of me, I can not understand why this word is used so freely in human tongue. I don’t understand why anyone would want to relate themselves to this entity, and consistently describe their own persona as being hateful. If your angry with someone, then state it as anger, not hatred. If you dislike someone, then state it as opposed to even reference such an entity as hate. It is not a requirement in our lives to care about every human we encounter, and in fact it is more common place that we don’t.

I ask only that we use our words in accuracy as opposed to not when describing ourselves or the state of being of oneself. If you do say the word hate, then it should mean everything I listed above and more, as well as the fact that you are actively engaging every one of those courses of action. If you are not engaging in these actions while stating that you ‘Hate’ something, then you are lying, or ignorant of what hate actually is. I assure you that once it is exampled for you, you will never forget it, and you will never want to relive it, or relate it to you. Be accurate when describing yourself. Be accurate with what you feel. Know the difference. It's not enough to blurt out the mess of emotion we have in our head, as it makes sense to no one but us. Use words better.

Awareness

Let the eyes of the gods be upon me, guiding me towards the life fire. Let slip my mind, the meaning of days and nights, and the troubles of gods and men. Let stay my soul the beauty of a woman, and the beauty of god light sent by truth. Let heal my wounds the depth and breadth of a being tride and true by construct and unwillingness, as the man who has broken free hath done this already, and healed his own wounds if he stand before me... and healed them well.

Stand not, the shadow that breaks against the light on endless occasion, just because there seems no other way. Layeth the shadow on the floors of light, and allow purity to wash over them. Absorption will continue for many moons… but layeth until ye hath had enough.

With eyes unguarded, look upon the world of men, and chance the places ye hath never been. We will learn about the heavens and the gods and the sun, and we will move forward against the currents of the world. We will take from them what is ours, and we shall move beyond their reach, as the only way to survive something such as this, is to become pieces of it, and then let go.

Believe in all things, as all things will treat you with their nature. The stone can not be the river, though it is a part of the river. The stone stands against the river as mother nature has intended, and the stone will stand against all that attempt to move it. The river will flow around and over the stone, and the stone will begin to wash away piece by piece. The stone is proud, and sturdy… but without the ability to change, the stone can only be broken or slowly, slowly washed away.

Awareness is knowledge that can not be forgotten. No matter the effort, and no matter the attempt… it can not be truly forgotten.

Crash against the love of the light, and float with the knowledge that where we are headed, where we were meant to be. We can not carry all the memories that our physical mind may hold dear… but the lessons that our soul understands will walk with us for eternity as we travel to whence we came.

It can not be true that things done with negative intention were meant to happen only one way, for we see and effect the lives of so many people with the choices we make. Each choice made, a cause… each cause created, an effect… each effect

sustained, a change. All things remain a never ending lesson on the ability to properly use the most powerful force in the universe, and the most unwieldy of tools… Free Will.

With Free Will, we can choose to be ignorant or aware. With Free Will, we can choose to exist with or without depth and reason. With Free Will we can choose what color to paint our wall, and With Free Will we can choose Life of the physical, or death of the physical. With awareness, we can realize we have the ability to wield Free Will.

The Journey to Awareness, shall unbind us from this mortal world... Break free my friends... Break free!

Truth -

Such a thing seems, to me, to be barely attainable. We as humans seem to deceive each other, as well as ourselves, on a such a frequent occasion, that we have justified the cause, and the means to the end.
Truth – in its essence – is the biting blade. Something so pure, that when given, clarity comes at such a staggering speed, it is difficult to stay standing. It is a true catalyst of emotions… and the most revered weapon of the true thinker. Truth is binding… and it will also separate. Truth will help bind one to it, as well as surround them… though the lack thereof creates the same environment on the opposite pole.
If one has lived a life of deception, and begins wielding truth… some people in that person’s life will fade. They will seemingly become ‘itchy’ and that is just enough uncomfortability for people to take notice, and then want out.
Truth… is something that exists in such a way, where it is intangible… though it is something that requires no ones agreement, or belief, it simply is. Gravity of truth, when spoken wholly, is crushing.
This is the sword that the angels use to slay their beasts… these are the words god has used to build our world. This is the living, and a way of being, and only through rejection of truth, can we know discontent. Some truths are full of jolly, and life…. Some truths are hallowed, and void, as the sadness becomes loud.
Our primitive state, lays us as victim upon the feet of such a great power… yet it is a power we can wield by act of free will, if we choose. We can be emboldened by truth, and carry upon our selves a sword of light made for denying that which is not absolute.
As I have found.. that sword has two blades… for if we seek truth within the darkness… we shall find it, and it will not be filled with happiness, or joy. It will be filled with sadness and pain and ugliness, but it will be no less real. If we seek the Truth within the light, we shall find our happiness, and our joy.
The truth itself, is neutral ground. It is where both light and shadow can exist, without ever existing within the same time and space of the opposing party. The entities that stand upon that ground, are subject to the waves of both light and shadow, as it blows through them.. and learning to defend against that which a consciousness wants, and will choose to disallow is key. It is the battle ground of oneself… and it is set with the stage of the gods. As we as entities choose to stand amongst the powers of truth, and choose which will be our direction… the gods offer us all the options we could possibly wish for, in a timeless space, and with quiet but unwavering resolve.
It is our strength that will bind us to our course, and it is our own strength that will bind us to our truth, whichever way we see it. We can lead ourselves to the bottom of one end, to turn and form the path we seek to the other. Some children of men, were made for the light, and some for the dark, and others to be messenger between the two, and exist a place that exists only truths… but a place where there is no wrong. A place where there is no judgment, or emotional reactions… a place of truth, based upon observation which is the most difficult of all places to stand in my humble opinion. As one can not be truly good, one can not be truly evil… and without the finality of one or the other, consciousness staggers, and sways to what is called ‘the unknown’. It is without the human reaction of sway, one can see that the unknown, is only unknown to that one… as there are few which exist within this middle. In this middle there can be no judgment. in this middle, there is no evil. In this middle, there is no good... there is only truth.
The darkness will always try to extinguish the light, as the light will always try to blow back the shadow… but it is the messengers who watch and observe to learn. It is the Seekers of Truth who will carry the message of peace to either side…. Because they have no bias, and their strength is unyielding.

Change

Here now we stand.. amongst the days of change

This is where we cast out eyes upon the future that now seems so grim, as the elders of our generation cast their eyes back upon hardened times that seem to be catching up to us, and a withering future.

The youth of our generation… still stranded in a lifestyle swimming with material possession, and crippled by the lack of necessary knowledge due to the pursuit of said possession… Lead us in a venture over the hill and toward battle… but a fight where the enemy is ourselves. Not a Civil war… a war of consciousness, waged against that habits and truths of the haves versus the have not’s.

This is when we, the youth, find out that our elders were selfish, egotistical, arrogant, pompous and deceptive people. Deceptive on a level that would get them what they wanted, and never mind the rest, though they have since helped us realize that this is a truth of life. They also never told us, that in about two years from now, there will be 3 people retired, for every one person working... they forgot to mention we would be paying for them and their friends to live out their days work-free.

The truth behind our parents… is that they have loved us the best they can.. and they have shown us what to do, the best they can… but the fact is.. they have never known what to do besides survive, and/or plan for retirement. They forgot to mention their ignorance on the problems they were creating, and the amount of weight that would be left on the shoulders of the youth, when the crown was ready to be passed from generation to generation. They did, however, mention that we should make as much money as possible, and have a nice house, with a car, and a couple kids.. or some variant along those lines. They did not, however, mention that the mindset used to live they way the elders have, was not to be the way of the future… nor did they encourage a different path of us, instead they choked it out of most of us… and forced a replication of a life cycle.. this fact, is truly sad.

After saying this, you would think I have a vendetta against our elders… though I hold the utmost respect for them. They made it through a time that is very unimaginable to us, and hard in ways we can’t fathom.

Once they made it out of that time, they wanted to relax, and have what is know of as 'the good life'… and there is nothing wrong with playing hard, after working hard.

They are also not of the mindset, that we the youth, now have to deal with the mistakes their generation has made, and clean it up, and so far, it has been of a historic precedence, though the mistakes have already been made, and there is no blame to place. They are the way they are, and we the youth are now accountable, and must hold each other accountable.

The part that agitates me the most is witnessing the youth and the hope of our species be deceitful, treacherous, malicious, violent, cruel, and without conscious when it comes to acquiring material possession or personal gain. We learned that from our elders… but we do not have to accept it as our way of life. We can choose something better… even if it only means one choice a day that is different, that would still be something.

We were not prepared for the task ahea. Our natural pre-conception of ourselves is that we are innately good, and we hold onto that throughout our lives. While we do hold onto it… more accurately put, we only hold it and look at it… but we seem to use it less and less, due to fear and hurt from others. This generation is so extremely sensitive to emotions, and no one seems quite aware, of how to deal with it.. so we close it off, and blame ourselves, and become pompous and narrow minded, like our elders, because we have seen that 'it works' to get through life.

There are 24 hours in a day, and a split second is what it takes to make a decision. We can choose our freedom… we have that power within us… if we have the eyes to see it, and the strength to grasp it.

I ask that all of us stretch our limits of the heart once a day… because it’s a muscle… without it working… it never gets stronger. I ask you now… could you stand amongst deception and change fate... can you change the thing we call perception?

These images should help you gain perspective of your place on a universal plane, as well as help you feel why it is so beautiful when we all join together, and work towards the sky.

Strength

Breathe.... Breathe....

And so we as humans consider ourselves, and measure ourselves of strength. Our character is imbued with this, seemingly rare and precious commodity, and yet some are vacuums for it, and I believe they are called the weak.
The strong was at one time supposed to fight for, and protect the weak, though now it seems, as the sands of the hourglass fall beneath the rest, that the weak have become useless and vile, and irritating. We no longer protect them… it would seem that the culture we now endorse is happier taking things from them.. to embolden themselves in such ways that matter little, but to a corporeal mind.
and so the thoughts of us as humans unfold right in front of me… and what we believe strength to be… never leaving room for its purity and its truth… just craving more and more of it. So on this note I ask… what is strength?
Strength the way I understand are best given by example, as such I shall do so here:
Strength lies in the woman in which that has nothing, but gives everything to the child she willingly chose to create, for no other reason than so that child can have the best life, and the option of choice in things that can not be seen from the position of the mother.
Strength is being persecuted for your beliefs, upon every encounter, because they are different than all the rest, and standing with shoulders back, and head held high and gentle, as the heart simply does not waiver.
Strong is the warrior who is challenged by the fool, and chooses a truth over battle.
Strength is a man fighting for his life and his family at his home because the threat of their death bring s him to his knees in misery.
Strong is the man who’s code of honor rises above every law man has… Honor is noble, if driven by the heart.
Strength is the one who gives up the ways of hate for their spouse and children, and swallows pride, because they accurately understand the wretchedness of a new life growing within the darkness.


Strength is the candle within the darkness… ever beating back the shadows so the children of men can see truth within their blindness.
Strength is the wave crashing upon a rocky coast… and never giving up, because the sea itself wants that land back… and one day.. she shall have it.
Strength exists within us… and we get to learn to bring it out of us.. ounce by ounce. As we do we stand taller, more confident, and truer to what we actually are. It is the Grandest adventure in life… our search for the true depth of our being… so I say… what better place than here, and what better time than now?