Selfishness

Selfishness lives in all people, no matter how benevolent the person is. Selfishness is something that is usually very blurry to people, as selfishness is what protects us from all the bad things, and as it happens, all the good things too.

Selfishness is usually the root of a defense mechanism, as the entire purpose of such a mechanism is in order to protect the individual with the mechanism, with no concern or regard for anything else. Usually the most obvious selfish behavior is in children, as they simply don’t have any of the social rules that adults do.

When a child starts to realize the concept ‘Mine’ usually it is in the age range of 2-3. After that… EVERYTHING is ‘mine’. ‘Mine’ is the beginning stages of selfishness, as the child will want anything anyone else has as well. I’m sure you parents out there, have had a child at this age range, want everything your holding in your hand, no matter what it is. It could be a sandwich, a glass of water, a piece of silverware, a new paper, a laptop, or your car keys. The kids are simply exploring the concept of ‘Mine’, as they have nothing that isn’t theirs according to them.

When we grow older, that concept is changed, and we learn the concept of sharing, and tolerance, and we also learn that, based upon societal construct and propaganda, the ‘selfless’ are better people. After this, of course everyone wants to be better people, so they begin attempting to explore the concept of selflessness. Usually the exploration of the concept is stopped short by the individual, as the path of selflessness is most certainly not the path of least resistance.

Based upon observation, humans generally begin to believe themselves selfless, while performing selfish acts, and every once in awhile, doing something that seems selfless to them, and the other person receiving the selfless act should feel very blessed to have that person perform such an act of selflessness upon them. To me it looks quite like an oxy-moron, and staunch hypocrisy, however that doesn’t seem to enter into the thoughts of the person committing said actions.

An example of a child’s selfish behavior:

“I want my lollipop. It’s MY lollipop, and you can’t have any! Mine!”

This is a very declarative and direct thought pattern. The thought is literally no different than the words, and the actions follow suit. The difference in adults, is that they also have usually studied the art of deception/lying to some degree.

And example of the thought process of an adults selfish behavior:

Adult 1 says:

“Hey! I heard what you said to Molly yesterday before I came into the kitchen. I was with Jake that day, and he never said that.”

Adult 2 Says:

“What do you mean!?”

Adult 1 says:

“yeah, you said you were there at the house, and that Jake said he wanted a mistress, and was trying to find one… why?”

Adult 2 says:

“You were listening in to my conversation!? I can’t believe you! How rude!”

Adult 1 Says:

“I know you weren’t there, because I never saw you that day, and I was at the house all day. ”

Adult 2 says:

“I don’t know what your talking about, and your offending me. Your just being rude! You were listening in on conversations, being sneaky, and accusing people. I can’t believe you! ”

Adult 1 says:

“Wow, that seems like your fooling yourself with something other than the truth. It sounds like you may be saying parts of something, but I’m not sure what. Have you studied the art of deception/lying?”

Adult 2 says:

“No, I’m not lying, and how dare you call me a liar!”

This is usually summed up by the epic conversation that I sum up as the “how dare you “conversation.

After the thought, there would be a justification, or the need for such a justification. The adult may look for someone else to ‘talk to’, which usually translates into another human being giving them the necessary justification because the individual is at a loss or at bare minimum lacks the strength and purpose of self to do this on their own.

The person then justifies it’s selfish action, and begins to act as if the person asking the question about the study of the art of deception, has then insulted and offended Adult 2, so in order to convey this there is an over-compensating that must occur. Usually this takes the form of an emotionally dramatic exploit of some sort, in the same realm as theatre.

Right about at this point is when things begin to whir out of control, because Adult 2 is more interested in their own dramatic over compensation.

The selfish adult (Adult 2) will usually antagonize the other entity in order to provoke a reaction. This I usually sum up as “drama”, and then begins some fantastic story about the whole experience.

Adult 2, was never interested in listening to Adult 1. Adult 2 simply wanted to be accused of a situation, in order to justify the position of being victimized by “such a rude and insulting person”. The rudeness, and offense, is in the act of speaking about someone else behind their back, and specifically saying things to deceive them. If an individual doesn’t like to be called on such actions, one should not commit such actions… it is as plain as that.

Selfish people only think about them, and what will happen to them, and how the outcome will effect them, and what will be for them, and what happens to them, and how they will feel about the situation or circumstance, but their view is ALWAYS limited to them. They can never see beyond themselves in order to achieve selflessness, though there are also never able to see that they are being selfish and will readily deny it.

In my experience, it is the people who can admit that they are selfish, that are far more selfless.

It is those who can not see it in themselves, because they believe it so sinful or offensive that they should simply be denied awareness of it’s existence in them. It is when that cycle repeats itself for years, and then to multiple generations, that’s when it becomes a sickness.

For every sickness there is a remedy. For every hurt there is a cure. Be accountable for your selfishness, even when you don’t want to.

Accountability

In this I shall attempt to render thoughts on the concept of accountability.

Accountability is something that seems to be less and less visible in the leagues of our society. It could be the way I view things, and I pray that it is just my inaccurate vision however, there is an unyielding proof of a truth that doesn’t care about my prayers, and continues to show me more evidence to the contrary.

(Please note, that ALL examples given here are examples or hypothetical situations, however graphic… they are relevant to the concept. The graphic nature of these elements are to help the reader understand just how drastic someone else's viewpoint can be, as well as what people are capable of justifying, or being accountable for. Whether we believe that all people are good and descent, has no relevance on whether people other than ourselves make the choices not to be either consistently.)

Accountability means: subject to the obligation to report, or to explain something; responsible; answerable.

In my experience many people will read this definition, and walk by the depth to the words. The reporting of a thing, is NOT the same as the justification of a thing. The report is the data, and only the data behind the actions… NOT the feelings. Many people get lost in the emotions of an action, and end up in a place that they must justify, which is why I say that the concept of justification is different than a report. Both justification, and accountability can be amazing things to witness, and can easily leave the observer in awe.

One can walk to a front porch of a house in the suburbs after watching it for a few weeks, ring the doorbell, and grab the child that answers the door to do unto that child whatever that one desires. That action IS justified by that person in their mind as the right thing to do. The thought must pass approval in order for execution of the action. Justification is that person telling themselves that taking that child, is O.K. quietly in their mind, and then using whatever circumstances necessary and repeating that it's O.K. as many times as it takes, in order to believe that the action is necessary. That is what justification is… not the who, when, where, or why… just what.

An example of accountability, is that same person sitting on the bench looking at that house in the weeks before the actual act, having this thought.

“My body is responding to that child, and I know that everyone says it’s wrong and illegal, but it’s irresistible to me.

I have accepted the fact that my body responds this way, and that I may never be able to control this temptation… I will try someday, but that day is not today.”

The accountability is taken for being a pedophile in that thought. The person understands that it’s turned on physically, the person accepts it, and also accepts that it’s against the law. The accountability is the person actually being responsible for being what the person is. It knows it’s a pedophile, and it simply doesn’t care and continues about it’s course to correct at some undefined later date.

The justification will always kick in when a different set of standards are imposed upon that person… in this case, it would be when they are caught by the intricately weaved net of the law. After the imposition of another’s set of standards as well as it’s consequences, the person becomes deceptive, and then a justification is required. The deception begins with denial out of fear for consequences. Then… the deceptions that are told, are woven into a story that is rehearsed which usually shows the person in the best possible light. This being said, the pedophile is often seen as a good person and potentially a victim to themselves and their inhibitions, after the insertion of this justification for being a pedophile.

In this example, the justification is neither accurate, nor evidence of accountability and is intentionally designed to skew the report. All the while… the person doesn’t have to take accountability for any action made. The report of the above example is this:

Begin Report:

This person abducted a child, and forced said child to submit to it in a criminal fashion based on a set law that that person is now being judged by. The person was held accountable by said law, and attempted to deceive others in attempt to gain favor for leniency. This person is not only a pedophile, but also a liar and intelligent enough to maliciously use pity and benevolence to sway them. This person is not to be trusted, and with whatever process that the judging law deems relevant,will be processed.

End report:

The report is usually much shorter, and quite declarative. The point being is that the person in question, is accountable for both the report AND the justification.

What's the reason for that they are responsible even if they don't acknowledge that responsibility?

The event simply would not have occurred if the person would not have committed either the thought energy, or the physical energy to turn the fantasy into a reality.

All people are accountable for every thought they have… because no one else is inside your head.

No one else will hold you accountable for your thoughts… because no one else is inside your head.

All people can choose what they want to do.... because all humans have free-will.

All people are accountable for their actions…. Even the ones that other people don’t see.

No one else can stop you from doing something to cause damage to your fellow man… because you have indefinite control over your entire body, and the whole of your own mind.

Accountability for our own thoughts and actions announces our intention as human beings to others. Malicious or benevolent does not matter, and the reason for that is quite simple. For me… I would rather look at the demon that has burning hands and horns coming from it’s head and red skin and say with blood dripping from it's mouth and say: ‘no thanks… I think your unhealthy for my life.’ Rather than to look at a person that hides that demon behind faces of deceit and unaccountability to look just like you and me but have the same effect. The unfortunate reality, is that in our world the angels and the demons look identical… and we have a choice to become either, both, or none. The designation 'angel' or 'demon' is simply that, but the becoming of any of these things begins with taking accountability for the good actions, as well as the poor ones towards that direction.

In the pursuit of accountability I have learned one indeterminate fact. Those who are truly accountable for all of their deeds, as well as their words, walk the most difficult and painfully growth ridden road out of anyone. They must answer to only themselves and no one else, but be that as truth, themselves never give leave.